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Written by Savithra Raai
“Did you see the bruises on her arm?”
“She fell down the stairs? Again?”
“Did you notice the marks around his neck?”
“It’s none of our business.”
Sounds familiar?
We’ve spent too long whispering. It’s about time we stop biting our tongues and start speaking up about this taboo. Throughout the period of the ongoing pandemic, long periods of stay-at-home orders have been implemented across our country in order to prevent further spread of the virus. Certainly the stay-at-home orders have played an important role in containing the virus however it has also adversely affected individuals who come from toxic household environments. Many have fallen victim to acts of domestic violence over the years however the stay-at-home orders have only exacerbated the situation for victims within an intimate relationship as they are ‘trapped’ with their abusers in confined spaces with little to no ways of escape or help.
This pandemic has been an opportunity for abusers to exhibit violent behaviours as social isolation is one of the most prevalent strategies employed by abusers to disconnect victims from their support networks. According to the Women’s Aid Organisation, there was a 14% increase in calls within the first two weeks of the implementation of the Movement Control Order (MCO) in Malaysia which began on the 18th of March, 2020. In the following first two weeks of April, calls had risen by 112.2%, when compared to the same period in February. This leads us next to the most predictable questions.
Why?
Why have the statistics increased this drastically?
Why are there more cases of domestic violence being reported?
Abuser and Abuse.
In order to understand the above, we must first have a clear understanding on what domestic violence is. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), domestic violence refers to violence emanating from the household and within relationships defined by familial or emotional (former or present) attachment. There are several types of abuse such as physical, psychological, sexual, social isolation, financial and digital abuse. So what causes domestic violence? This article explains the main causes of domestic violence and if the current law for domestic violence is adequate in Malaysia.
Causes of Domestic Violence
There is no justification behind the actions of abusers, the cause of domestic violence is the abusers and their abusive behaviour only. The following list describes why abusers tend to behave the way they do and reasons why victims tend to stay in abusive relationships.
1. Economic Challenges
Economic challenges are an aggravating factor encouraging domestic violence. Many have lost their jobs and are struggling to make ends meet during this pandemic. It is rather distressing to shoulder financial pressure especially if one is the sole breadwinner of the family or relationship, thus taking a heavy toll on their mental and physical health. Abusers tend to lash out at their victims because of their inability to handle pressure and make use of healthier coping mechanisms effectively. Statistically, spouses from the low-income group are more likely to face domestic violence due to financial constraints. According to a survey done by Selangor Women’s Empowerment Institute, 84% out of 442 women from the B40 category were victims of domestic violence. However, it is unjust to say that domestic violence only happens in lower-income families as domestic violence can occur to anyone regardless of socioeconomic background. Spouses who are economically and financially dependent on one another, are more likely to have difficulties in leaving an abusive relationship as they may not be able to support themselves outside the relationship.
2. Toxic Masculinity
Toxic masculinity is derived from strict gender norms such as the sayings “men should be dominant” and “crying is weak”. Such gender norms do not only belittle women in relationships but also prevent some male victims of domestic violence from seeking help as they are stereotyped to be the superior sex. These gender norms are outdated and toxic as they set unrealistic, toxic and unsafe standards for male behaviour and are misogynistically aligned. In India, a recent case was reported where a man, Harish Mehta stabbed his wife on a crowded street as he did not approve of his wife working as a nurse and wanted her to quit the job to manage the household. In Malaysia, an 18-year-old student, T.Nhaveen was murdered after attempting to defend himself to a group of bullies calling him names like ‘pondan’ and sissy. One of the bullies had tried to force Nhaveen to join their gang several times to “man up”. These are a few examples of where we can see the influence of toxic masculinity on human behaviour.
3. The Misconception of Love and Intoxication
Victims often turn a blind eye to the fact that they are being abused due to the biggest misconception that abuse is a sign of love. A common but dangerous mistake most victims make is dismissing the warning signs more commonly known as relationship ‘red flags’.
Do you feel like you're walking on eggshells when you're around your partner?
Does your partner control you to a point where you begin to doubt yourself?
Is there a power imbalance in your relationship?
If your answer is ‘yes’ to any one of these questions, then it is a sign for you to reconsider your relationship and acknowledge the red flags. A neurologist, Sigmund Freud claims that our early childhood experiences shape our adulthood and ability to regulate emotions and behaviours in relationships. Accordingly, a misconception of love can be observed in children and adults, who grew up with parents whose relationships have seen more slamming doors and screams rather than parents who portray healthy standards of a relationship. These individuals are more likely to be more tolerant towards violence as they tend to believe that violence and toxicity in a relationship equates to love. When in love, they tend to make excuses for their partners who practice violence especially under the influence of intoxication. Victims fail to realise that intoxication is never an excuse to abuse someone. Children who grew up witnessing violence between parents are more vulnerable to harmful drinking patterns in the future. The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that roughly 55% of domestic abuse perpetrators were drunk prior to assault.
These are the most common explanations behind domestic violence. This leads us to our next question.
"Why does the law allow such injustice?"
Is The Current Law Adequate?
In Malaysia, the law that governs domestic violence is the Domestic Violence Act 1994 (DVA 1994). Marital rape is a form of domestic violence. However, marital rape is not legally recognised in Malaysian law despite being criminalised in countries such as United Kingdom (R v R) and South Africa. Having said that, Malaysian victims may still invoke section 375A of the Penal Code which provides an offence for husbands causing fear of death or hurt to his wife in order to have sex.
That’s where the question of whether this law is adequate arises.
It does provide some protection but it is insufficient. Firstly, the punishment in Section 375A is up to five years of imprisonment which is less severe compared to rape which is up to 30 years under the Penal Code Section 376. Secondly, Section 375A uses words such as husband causing “hurt or fear of hurt or death to his wife in order to have sex with her”. Rape can happen without hurt or fear of hurt, for example through intoxication or other forms of coercion.
Moreover, the Domestic Violence Act fails to protect cohabitees which is a serious issue given the increase in cohabitees in Malaysia. Although cohabitees are denied protection under this Act, the perpetrator can be punished under Penal Codes, Section 323 and Section 324 for voluntarily causing hurt. However, if one commits certain Penal Code offences against a spouse, the punishment may be greater compared to if the offence is committed against a non-spouse. According to Section 326A of the Penal Code, anyone who causes hurt to one’s spouse and commits an offence under Section 323, 324, 325, 326, 334 or 335 of the Penal Code would be imprisoned for a term up to twice as long as the maximum term of these offences. Additionally, survivors of domestic violence are also entitled to protection orders such as Emergency Protection Order (EPO), Interim Protection Order (IPO) and Protection Order (PO) under the Domestic Violence Act. However yet again, these protections are only applicable to legally married couples and not for cohabitees. Thus, cohabitees who are abused by their partners have very much less protection than married spouses.
Conclusion
In a nutshell, despite the various reasons contributing to abusive behaviour, abuse must not be tolerated. The current law may not be entirely sufficient however victims should stand up against their abusers. If you are a victim of domestic violence, you owe no loyalty to anyone who has abused you. They gave up the right to any loyalty or silence, the moment they made their choice to abuse you. You have every right to speak up and expose an abuser for who they are, regardless of any relationship you have with them. Don’t ever let abuse become your new normal and for your sake, stop biting your tongue.
Bibliography
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